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Oops…I may have crapped my pants!

Updated: Nov 21, 2021

Not just Pollack-tics, with David Pollack




It has been rumored that while meeting with Pope Francis in Vatican City, President Joe Biden had a little accident in his pants. Speculation arose after the pair’s meeting went longer than expected and upon its conclusion, Mr. Biden emerged wearing a different suit. Further bolstering this rumor were reports that while in Scotland at the COP26 meeting, Mr. Biden let out a “long and loud fart while chatting with the Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall. One source was was quoted as saying, “It was impossible to ignore.” So it’s quite possible that the leader of the free world might have been experiencing a little tummy trouble.


While this is all purely speculative, it’s at least as reliable as the reporting on the alleged Trump/Russia collusion. Adopting this journalistic standard, we could assume it’s true, after all its based on anonymous source reporting, but I digress. In all likelihood, Mr. Biden did not mess his pants. However, with each foreign trip, each stumbled speech, each fist clenched town hall appearance, and each scurry from the lectern amongst the friendly roar of press pool inquiries, Americans might be starting to wondering what’s up with the 46th President?

It’s been nearly ten months since the fence flanked Inauguration where the typical cheering crowds were replaced by battle ready soldiers. And, as has been the custom, it took mere hours before he was presented with a catalog of executive orders, reversing many of the policies of the previous administration.

Some of the more consequential executive actions included: halting construction of the border wall, reducing Trump-era immigration enforcement, directing that non-citizens be included in the census, canceling the Keystone XL pipeline, rejoining the Paris climate accord, and enhancing mask requirements, just to name a few. Almost thirty executive orders were issued in the the first three days of the Biden presidency. In fact, in his first 100 days, he signed more executive orders and memorandums than any of the last three presidents, when comparing how many each had published in the Federal Register through April 30 of their first year in office.

Amongst the flurry of executive orders, the Biden Administration has found itself bouncing from one crisis to the next. In just the last ten months, we’ve seen runaway inflation with consumer prices at a thirty-year high. We’ve seen supply chain shortages impacting every sector. Gas has risen more than a dollar per gallon, and massive caravans of thousands of migrants continue to illegally enter the United States, seemingly at the behest of the current administration.

And that’s not even the worst of it. On the International front, the Taliban regained full control of Afghanistan within 24 hours of the Biden Administration’s poorly planned withdrawal. The chaotic evacuation resulted in the death of 13 U.S. troops and billions of dollars of military equipment left in the hands of the Taliban. ISIS has re-emerged, North Korea has resumed testing missiles, Palestinians have increased their rocket attacks on Israel, and just the other day Iranian backed terrorists took hostages after storming the U.S. embassy in Yemen. Closer to home, the Administration has left the Cuban people helpless after rising up against their totalitarian government, and Mexican cartel violence is spilling over our border as fresh supplies of deadly fentanyl flows through our communities.

I wish I could say that’s all, but it’s not. Mr. Biden’s recent vaccine mandates have exacerbated the severe workforce shortage problems in critical sectors, including transportation, law enforcement, and healthcare. There are also new reports of an impending energy pricing surge that will hit some Americans especially hard this winter,and it seems that we have a new wave of the COVID-19 virus spreading across several states despite high vaccination rates. But wait, there’s more! The U.S. Attorney General ordered the FBI to investigate parents who speak out at local school board meetings, and agents recently raided the home of journalist James O’Keefe, founder of project Veritas, reportedly because of the President’s daughter’s lost diary. Oh and remember the White House’s assertion that Mr. Biden’s Build Back Betterplan would not result in tax increases for anyone making less than $400,000 per year? Well, it has just been reported that the agenda would actually result in a tax increase for 30% of middle class families.

As former President Barack Obama has reportedly said, “Don't underestimate Joe's ability to f... things up."

We’re only ten months into what seems to be shaping up as the most disastrous presidency in American history. With Biden’s approval numbers lower than almost any modern U.S. president and Vice President Kamala Harris’s numbers even worse, it seems that the people of this country might have been the ones who crapped their pants—with the election of Joseph R. Biden. But hey, at least there are no more mean tweets, am I right?

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